


Why Am I Still Here?

by Death_Panther



Category: jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Alone, Chica - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mark - Freeform, Markiplier - Freeform, Other, Sad, Sean McLoughlin - Freeform, Self-Harm, Star - Freeform, jacksepticeye - Freeform, powers, space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-04-06 14:01:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14058525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Death_Panther/pseuds/Death_Panther
Summary: More like how? How am I still here? I take a shaky breath as I look down at my body. My arms... Shaky... I can feel my body, failing... Again.... I think back to my first memory. When I first woke up. I was floating... A bright light blinding me as I opened my eyes. I was slowly spun away from the light so I could see. Another bright light, much smaller, formed in front of me. But the light didn't hurt my eyes. I would learn, much much later, that that was a star. And the first thing I saw, was the sun, just when it started to burn..."Hello. Little Guardian."The star flickered with each word.





	1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

Mark's POV

All I see is black as I pull in a final breath, feeling my heart stop. After a while, my vision returns to me. I'm sitting cross-legged on what appears to be a solid surface. My head hung low. My arms stretched out, forearms resting on my knees, limp. I already know where I'm at. A warmth soaking into my back. 

“Little Guardian?” A woman-like voice asked. I remained still. Why talk when it'll just say the same thing as it did last time, and the time before that. “I see your dyed hair has changed since I've seen you. It's grown out, half red and half black… It looks nice.” They continued. I nod slightly, deciding to at least give some kind of acknowledgment that I was even listening. 

I felt a soft jolt in my chest. My heart was starting to beat again. “You know what I'm gonna say…” I nod, more noticeable this time. “You have to find your purpose.” I sigh as my vision blacks out again.

I open my eyes to see that I'm back on Earth… in my house… Lying on my bathroom floor. I sit up. The feeling of emptiness still weighing heavily on me. 

I look down at my arms to see the new scars. I wish the wounds would last longer. They heal too quick… I stand up, washing the dried blood off my arms. Next, I clean the floor. When I'm done, I look up. Staring at the reflection in the mirror. 

“What purpose....” My voice echoes off the walls. I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. I go about my morning routine. Taking a shower. Brushing my hair, cleaning my teeth. Getting dressed. The thing I’ve done every day to the point I don’t have to even think about the process anymore. 

I walk downstairs. Chica following at my heels. Star, or Astra as I like to call “her”, noticed how… low… I was getting. So, as a constant companion, she “gifted” the dog constellation life. In a selfish way, I’m glad Chica’s like me… But, in my heart. We share this curse. 

I’ve noticed how humans talk about eternal life being awesome to have. If only they knew… The struggle to keep going. Not being able to die. Literally being a god among men. That saying, “Life is too short.” I wish I knew what that felt like… 

And why “Little Guardian”? I’ve told Astra multiple times that I’ve decided on the name Mark. Yet I haven’t heard it said once. How could I be a guardian when I, myself.... Want to die… What good is a guardian when they’re extremely suicidal? What good am I to anybody?

I'm blinked out of my thoughts when Chica jumped up, her paws landing on my chest. I shake the remaining thoughts away. I look down giving her a smile. Her mouth opens, her tongue hanging out the side as she returns a smile. 

“You wanna go for a walk don't cha?” I asked the pupper-snup. She wagged her tail harder, if that was even possible, as she barked happily. I nodded, heading for the door after grabbing my keys to the house. I grab her leash, she usually stays by my side. But I’ve learned that some places dislike the idea of a leashless dog. So I take it with us for those cases, if that were to happen. 

I turn the lock, closing the door behind me. We walk down the driveway, and onto the sidewalk. Chica staying right beside me. “Where to today?” I ask my canine friend. She wags her tail as she steps forward a bit, taking the lead. 

“Of course. You love that park to death…” I chuckle quietly. Ignoring the actual meaning behind those words. I look around, noticing the leaves changing color. A cooling breeze flowing past us. The signs of fall were right around the corner. 

We entered through the park’s front gate. The structure built out of stone and cement. The name of the park was engraved into the metal that was stuck in the stone. The wind picked up, chilling the air. I zipped up the jacket that I was wearing. Chica ran off, only to return seconds later with a decent sized stick. 

I smiled down at her. I gasped exaggeratedly. I bent over, placing my hands on my knees. “You wanna play Fetch? Oh, of course you do.” I said in puppy-talk. She attempted at barking around the stick. “Well ya gotta give it to me to throw it.” I said chuckling. She stared at me, silent and still. She lowered her head slightly opening her mouth to drop the stick. 

I rolled my eyes as I picked up the stick. “You’re such a goof sometimes. But it takes one to know one.” I said smiling. She sneezed. I chuckled as I pulled my arm back, Chica standing at the ready instantly. “Fetch!” I yell as I hurl the stick forward. Chica chasing after it right away. 

It always catches me off guard at times like these. When I’m alone, I just feel empty. Chica gives me a feeling of what I can't do myself. A sense of happiness. 

My thoughts are washed away yet again when I see Chica bounding towards me with the stick in her mouth. I give a smile as she slows to a stop in front of me. I take the stick after she drops it at my feet. “Come on girl. Let's go to a bench.” 

I make my way to a bench that was shaded by a few trees. Chica following at my heels. Once we reach the bench I spin around, waving the stick in a teasing manner. I raise my arm up all the way. She tries jumping for it, but it's too high up. “Maybe in a year or so.” I chuckle as I throw the stick. 

I sit down with a sigh. My hands find my pockets as I rest against the back. If it weren’t for the clouds, it would have been a sunny day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

Astra’s POV

I float around a bit, feeling bored. I decided to see what the little guardian is doing. I know he’s told me to call him Mark. But this is my way of encouraging him to think about why I call him that. Once he gets an idea, then, and only then, will I call him by the name he’s chosen. Hopefully, he’ll see that as a hint to him finding his purpose soon. I know I’m being vague, but it’s better if he figures it out himself. 

I don’t want a repeat of what happened before. A long time ago, I was more hyper at that time. I decided to tell Mark something, without much thought of consequence or possible outcomes. I told Mark what his purpose was. It wasn’t bad, far from it actually… But it was too soon… and the knowledge changed him… He became something dark, sinister… a monster… He wrecked havoc on the world, destroying anything in his path. Brought meteors from space, hurling into Earth. Volcanoes emptied, oceans roared into the land breaking it apart. 

Terrified… I erased that part of Mark’s memory. So there is no knowledge that he was what made the Earth look like it does today. When he woke up, he asked why the Earth looked so different. I replied that he had slept for millions of years. Which he had after the memory was removed. Mark changed the Earth in just a few hours, not millions of years like humans have been lead to believe. 

So now, whenever I feel the impulse to tell Mark something… _that monster_ … rather the image of it, stops me. 

**_https://deathrage22.deviantart.com/art/Raging-Mark-645323754_ **

That’s why, whatever I say, is confusing. It’s for that exact reason. To not have a repeat of history. He must learn what he is for, on his own. I’m unwilling to say that is why I can’t tell him certain things. It’s all out of fear, not for myself. But for the wellbeing of the Earth. 

Because of me. Mark now has two possible fates. 

The original is good. But it’s still hidden, blurred out, hiding in the shadows. It has cleared up some, but there’s still so much left to discover. 

The second one. Formed after The Beast, is much darker. This one is clear. If something so devastating happens, and Mark loses his grip on reality… this solar system will cease to exist.

By appearance, Mark is roughly 27 years of age. If I’m correct about this, which I hope I am, Mark should start on the original fate this year. Soon actually… Days maybe? No… it feels closer… Like just one day, no, mere hours away. 

Don’t worry Mark. In what may seem like seconds to you by now, you’ll find something that sparks the flame to your neverending life. You, finally, will be able to understand why you are here. Whatever that spark may be, and knowing you, you’ll get protective of it. Just like you did with Chica. 

I really am curious as to what that spark will be… it could be a person, maybe another animal. It would be odd, but it could be an object. 

I just hope whatever it is… accepts Mark for who he is, what he is. 

I’ve always been scared of the day when I won’t be able to find a bare spot on Mark’s body… Even now he has too many scars… My thought is that the scars are a way to show all the times Mark tried something impossible. But he continues to try. 

I remember one time when he… stopped living… he hadn’t woken up yet, but he started to talk in his sleep. Curious, I had got closer to hear him. That’s when I learned that stars could cry… What I had learned from his sleep talk was that he wasn’t doing well at being alone. As if to emphasize on that, he was there the next day, and the next, and the following days of that week. So I created his dog companion. He has since named her Chica.

I jump, my thoughts washed away. I felt a chill go through me. What’s going on? I haven’t felt anything like this since… I quickly look down at the Earth. Oh, it’s just stopped… Wait. What… 

**_Oh no…_ **


End file.
